A Blog by Ana Bess.

365 days and 10,541,200 breaths since we lost you…Because losing you didn’t just happen in that one moment when Ed called me on the phone today a year ago. It has meant losing you over and over again. Losing you every time I see a Red Sox t-shirt. Losing you when I hear Pearl Jam on the radio. I lose you in the moments before I fall asleep in tears, and in the moments when I awake and realize you’ve gone.

And yet I keep finding you… I have found little notes you wrote me from years ago. Found you in old photographs. I have found you in replaying the years of memories we shared. In the people who we love. I have found you in your family and in our friends. I can always find you in Clyde. I always have you in my heart. For there is a place I will never lose you.


I will keep on losing you. And I will keep on finding you and putting you back where you belong, inside of me. I love you.